This time of year always seems to take a toll on me. I don't know if it is the cold weather or the lack of sunshine, but I always seem to be a Debbie Downer. Or as my friend Jazzie would say a Negative Nancy. I think it is part of my genes or something. I can't help it.

There is just so much I'd like to change. I'm SO ready for the next thing. I'm already way over this whole school thing. And it stresses me out to think about our comprehensive exams and practicum and internship. I just feel like I have so much to do in a little amount of time. I'm ready for that little amount of time...which feels like years...to hurry along.

I want to move somewhere new with the love of my life. I want to start fresh with my own place and a new job in a new city/town to explore. I love that feeling of starting over. I like the struggle of meeting new people and finding a new church. I like that feeling of adventure.

I love my program, and my course of study. But the more I learn about counseling the less I want to do a sit down formal counseling job. I want to be out in the community advocating. I want to work with at risk teenagers and their families. I'm taking a group class this semester and I have a feeling I'm really going to like it. The group setting is what I love the most. That feeling of community and doing it together.

Okay, I'm done rambling and venting now.

God, help me to get excited about this life I'm living right now and not focus on the life I want in the future. Amen.