How did I get here?

Do you ever have moments in life where you think to yourself, "How the heck did I get here?" It seems like no matter how much we plan, things never work out how we want them to. We always talk about wanting things to be different, but never do anything different. This has been on my mind the past few days, and then I started reading something I wrote a few years ago on facebook. It spoke to me all over again. I just thought I'd share.

Pursue the LIFE that you were MADE for....

1. The secret to Godliness is hidden in your daily routine....


...Okay yeah, I've heard that before. Read your Bible daily and pray with out ceasing blah blah blah....If we want to be like God we have to spend time with God. Makes sense right? You know how if you hang around the same people for a while then you start saying some of the things they say. I know it is like that with my group of friends....it is kind of like we rub off on each other. That is how I want to think it is with God. The more I spend time with him, the more he will rub off on me. Make sense?... It is not that by going to church we get more of Jesus...by going Jesus gets more of us. There is nothing we can do but become available, and I believe that is when Jesus is going radically change our lives.
2. You DON'T decide your future, you decide your HABITS and your habits decide your future....


...Okay, I definitely NEVER thought about it like that. Especially in college, it seems like everything is about finding our purpose. Every other day I get a prayer request asking me to pray that God would show him or her His will for their lives. We are all here trying to decide our future. It's kind of like, You don't decide what you reap, you just decide what you sow, and what you sow decides what you reap. You can't date wrong now and expect to marry right. You can't live ungodly now and expect to become a man or woman of God later. What we do now is paving the path for our future. Scary, but really cool... Now that I am out of college, I realize that we worry for nothing. We do so much soul searching and seeking God's will that we miss the daily grind. I have started to realize, regardless if people agree, there is always an opportunity to do something good. It is the little things that we do on a daily basis that will shape us into who we become.

3. If you can tolerate something then you won't change it....


...I can see this in my life. I just kind of slide through on somethings. If you can tolerate addictions, then you will never be set free. If you can tolerate ungodliness, then you will never be godly. If you can tolerate spiritual laziness, then how in the heck are you ever going to get spiritually mature? You can't... Wow, this pretty much hit me in the face. I have to know what I want. I have to set goals. I have to work daily to get there. I'm not saying I have to have my whole life planned out with Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome...2.5 kids...and a white picket fence. I'm talking more about issues of character and relationships. I know who I want to be, more importantly who I represent. I also know the kinds of people I need to surround myself with. If I settle for less...I will get less.

Yeah, basically it got me thinking all over again.

God, continue to teach me. Amen.


.

Summer Time

It is hard to believe how fast time has gone. I am already done with my first semester of graduate school, and I ended with a 4.0 gpa. I hope every semester goes as fast as this one did! I am glad it is summer. I need this break.

Here lately I have started to realize a few things. Love finds you when you least expect it, and I don't get attached to places. I have the travel bug in me and I like the idea of starting new somewhere. I think that is why it hasn't bothered me too bad to find out that the new love in my life might move 28 hours away. It would be a lie if I said it didn't bother me at all, cause damn I'm going to miss him like crazy. But it is fun to me to think about moving and starting new somewhere. Who knows what will happen in the next year or so...I don't want to get ahead of myself. I'm just saying.

God, Thanks for getting me through this semester. I grateful for the things I have learned, and am excited about the things you have planned for me. Help me stay focused on the things you want for me. Amen.

Holy Week

Palm Sunday:

Matthew 21:8-11
"A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from trees and spread them on the road. The crowds that went ahead of him and those that followed shouted. "Hosanna to the Son of David!" "Blessed is he who comes in the name of the lord!" "Hosanna in the highest heaven!" When Jesus entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred and asked, "Who is this?" The Crowds answered, "This is Jesus, the prophet of Nazareth in Galilee."

I just love Easter. We have now entered Holy Week, and I want to make sure I take the time to really reflect on how greatly I've been blessed. It amazes me everytime I think about the things Jesus went through this week. He comes into Jersualem treated like a King, and then a week later the same people who shouted "Hosanna!" are shouting "Crucify Him!" I realize the power of persuasion, maybe being on a Speech and Debate team in college taught me that, but how could a joyous crowd swich so quickly to an angry mob? I often wonder what side would I have been on if I lived back then. It scares me. Disiples who saw him feed 5,000 with a few fish and a few loaves, saw him heal lame and blind, and embrace sinners....denied him. How strong is my faith really?

God, during this time in Holy Week remind me how great you are. Help me to see the sacrifices you made for me then, and the sacrifices you make for me everday now. Surround me with yourself. Consume me. I love you. And I praise you. Amen.

Transformed

So, I don't blog near as much as I thought I would when I started...

I have been thinking a lot lately about the idea of transformation. I have always believed that once you become a Christian, life is a transformation process. I believe that is basically what the Bible teaches. Here on Earth we are continually being transformed into the likeness of God. I often find myself praying for God to transform my heart--my life.

I think this idea of transformation could transcend to other aspects of my life. For example, my thoughts. How I feel about myself or someone else would transform over time. Basically, I think I'm saying this whole thing is a process. And it is a process that is not easy for me. Transformation does not always go in a positive direction. Once I realize I've been on the wrong track, I have to start again. Not go backwards, that's impossible. But open myself again. Allow myself to enter the transformation process. I have been blessed with a man who tells me everyday that I'm beautiful. His words are part of my process. The words I say are part of someone else's process. We really do impact the people around us. We are not only being transformed, but transforming others.

God, help me to be a light in the darkness.

Where does time go?

It has been a while since I have posted anything. I can't believe how fast time has flown by! Nothing too exciting has happened. Spring break as come and gone. Now I'm just waiting for the summer! It is so hard to believe that I am almost done with my first semester of graduate school! 2011...before I know it will be 2012.

God has really blessed me with an amazing second family :) I have met some awesome friends at school, and I have been able to rebuild old friendships. God is good. Life is good.

Last Sunday at church my pastor said something that I have been thinking about lately. I have always tried to be optimistic. My boyfriend said just yesterday that I smile all the time, lol. Now, I don't think that is true but I do try to see the glass as half full. It gets on people's nerves sometimes. But Bro. Jim was talking about God and the things he wants to bless us with...the things he has already blessed us with. I'm not really talking about material things, though that is not out of reach. I'm mostly talking about things of the spirit. God desires to give us an uncontainable joy. He wants to bless us with true friends, and love, and hope, and peace.... God doesn't want our cup to be half empty, or even half full. God wants our cup to overflow! How encouraging that we serve a God like that!

God, help me to remember how great you truly are.

shalom.

The Simple Life

I just want to live simply. I want my priorities to be straight. I feel like the whole world around me is in a constant state of chaos. Everyone worries about things that don't really matter. Do you realize how big God is? I mean come on now. It seems like people will do whatever they have to in order to get to the top....the top of what? I'm not sure exactly. The top of society I guess. But who really wants to be there? And I've never really seen anyone stay for very long. I think the higher you go, the harder you'll fall. And I don't know about you, but I don't really take pain well.

let. me. live. simply.
please.

Epiphany

I am starting to learn a lot about myself. I know that the college experience radically changed my life. I had an amazing group of friends. The classes I took challenged me to the very core of who I was. Now that I'm going on a year out of my undergrad and living back home. I'm staring to realize how much those experiences really changed my whole outlook on life. I was talking to a friend the other day and said, I use to not be like this. And that is true. I wasn't always this passive. There was a time I wanted the greater things in life. I use to put myself above others. I use to want to strive hard and be the best, not for myself, but for those around me. I couldn't fall, everyone was watching. And though I was never perfect, I always acted like I was. I think over time, I gave up. I gave up living for everyone else and started living for myself. I gave up striving for things that won't last, and realized that everything I have was given to me anyway. I don't have to be the best; I just have to do my best. The simplicity of life has overwhelmed me. I just want to love God and love people.

Now, I'm still far from perfect. I struggle everyday. And I think this whole self realization thing might be part of the process of life. I have been in Graduate School a total of 3 weeks and can already feel myself changing. I am already being challenged. For some reason, I am more aware of it now. Maybe that is just part of getting older. I don't know. But I've never really been afraid of change.

God, thank you for molding me and shaping me into the person you would have me be. continue to transform me. help me to stay focused on the things that really matter. Amen.