I've heard the saying 'when it rains, it pours' a lot lately. I think I have come to realize that life is just one big storm and you only make it if you learn to dance in the rain.
I wish for things. My wish comes true. I wish for something else. A cycle. It is always something, and I am not talking about material things. I believe finding a sense of personal peace in this day and age is more difficult than almost anything else. I'm not even striving for happiness any more, I would settle for contentment. Settle for contentment, that sounds funny. I often wonder if I will ever live in a place where people are uplifting...encouraging. I feel like I am constantly fighting a battle for people I haven't even met. A harder battle for people I have. Why are we so mean? So judgemental? Who do we think we are? As if we are smart enough to have all the answers...to know how it is suppose to be. Who am I to say you are wrong? We are just different. The differences in us today is what the historians will write about later. Embrace the beauty of it. Let go of what cannot be changed. Myself is all I can control.
and I just want to dance.
Aug 8, 2012
Jun 20, 2012
Seasons Change
Though here in Mississippi it has felt like summer since April, today is the official first day of summer and the longest day of the year. As I watch the seasons change I am reminded of the ways that God changes us.
Last week I took the youth from my church to Eureka Springs, AR on a mission trip. We did some exterior painting on an artist's house. He had the most beautiful assortment of Earth toned colors, and I honestly have no idea how he knew they would look so well together. As the youth worked hard and they got to know the home owner, I could start to see some changes in them. Worship each night was focused on baggage, and letting go of the sin and things that hold us down so that we can run the race that God has set out for us. We were taught to see each person equal to the next. There was a focus on material baggage, pride, and the hurtful things people say about us and the hurtful things we say about people. Eyes were opened and each person was given an opportunity to look within themselves and realize the types of baggage they were holding on to. God provided relief to those who were weight down and comfort for those who afraid to move forward. It was a truly amazing experience, and great reminder of how blessed I am to have my job.
Last week I took the youth from my church to Eureka Springs, AR on a mission trip. We did some exterior painting on an artist's house. He had the most beautiful assortment of Earth toned colors, and I honestly have no idea how he knew they would look so well together. As the youth worked hard and they got to know the home owner, I could start to see some changes in them. Worship each night was focused on baggage, and letting go of the sin and things that hold us down so that we can run the race that God has set out for us. We were taught to see each person equal to the next. There was a focus on material baggage, pride, and the hurtful things people say about us and the hurtful things we say about people. Eyes were opened and each person was given an opportunity to look within themselves and realize the types of baggage they were holding on to. God provided relief to those who were weight down and comfort for those who afraid to move forward. It was a truly amazing experience, and great reminder of how blessed I am to have my job.
May 20, 2012
control
The only person you have any type of control over is yourself. You can not change a person. They have to choose to be different. I will not deny the power of influence, but regardless it is still a choice to change. You choose to worry. You choose to let someone/thing bother you. You choose to be angry. You choose to forgive. You choose to love. You choose to believe. You choose to pray. You choose to set a positive example. Your life is a series of choices.
I am going to choose what is right regardless of what everyone else decides to do. I can not determine what is important to someone else, but I can choose to fight for what is important to me. Again, I do not have control over anyone by myself. Why waist so much effort getting someone else to change.... to see things the way I see them? What would happen if I stopped looking at what is wrong with everyone else and started look at myself? (the only person I can actually do something about) Just because I am one person does not mean that I cannot make a difference. Just because people do not do things the way I would do them, does not make them wrong. It makes them different. This world is made up of about 7 billion different people. Welcome. Explore. Change you to make it better.
I am going to choose what is right regardless of what everyone else decides to do. I can not determine what is important to someone else, but I can choose to fight for what is important to me. Again, I do not have control over anyone by myself. Why waist so much effort getting someone else to change.... to see things the way I see them? What would happen if I stopped looking at what is wrong with everyone else and started look at myself? (the only person I can actually do something about) Just because I am one person does not mean that I cannot make a difference. Just because people do not do things the way I would do them, does not make them wrong. It makes them different. This world is made up of about 7 billion different people. Welcome. Explore. Change you to make it better.
May 7, 2012
i 'bought' into it
Somehow we have convinced ourselves that buying things for a 'good cause' is justified regardless if we need it or not. I might buy a t-shirt or get a bracelet, and who knows if the people for that 'cause' are actually ever going to see any benefit from my purchase. This is not a post to talk bad about non-profit organizations. I believe most of them are out there working for/with issues that have touched their lives. They are getting our money the only way that seems to actually work. They get us to buy things.
What if we stopped feeling the need to get something for what we give? What if we just gave without the expectation of even a thank you? As a Christian, my mindset is that what I have is not mine anyway. Why do I feel so entitled? We shouldn't have to have 'fair trade' merchandise, but instead we should trade fairly. Non-profit organizations shouldn't have to sell shoes, t-shirts, or whatever else to meet the needs of people around the world. I should see that need and be compelled to meet it myself.
An organization buys merchandise (usually from 3rd world country) and then that merchandise gets shipped to the United States. The organization will send out emails, visit college campuses, and travel to different fair trade stores to sell the merchandise. Then, I drive to the store to purchase it. OR I will get online and order the merchandise and have it shipped directly to my house. (wow I'm lazy) I get my new product and use it. The organization eventually gets my money from a purchase order or through their website. Then the organization takes that money (after cost of the original item) buys more merchandise and then gives it to the people who actually need it. Talk about a middle man.
I don't want to buy things for 'a good cause,' I want to be out in the world and cause good.
God, teach me a life of simplicity. Show me opportunities to truly make a difference.
What if we stopped feeling the need to get something for what we give? What if we just gave without the expectation of even a thank you? As a Christian, my mindset is that what I have is not mine anyway. Why do I feel so entitled? We shouldn't have to have 'fair trade' merchandise, but instead we should trade fairly. Non-profit organizations shouldn't have to sell shoes, t-shirts, or whatever else to meet the needs of people around the world. I should see that need and be compelled to meet it myself.
An organization buys merchandise (usually from 3rd world country) and then that merchandise gets shipped to the United States. The organization will send out emails, visit college campuses, and travel to different fair trade stores to sell the merchandise. Then, I drive to the store to purchase it. OR I will get online and order the merchandise and have it shipped directly to my house. (wow I'm lazy) I get my new product and use it. The organization eventually gets my money from a purchase order or through their website. Then the organization takes that money (after cost of the original item) buys more merchandise and then gives it to the people who actually need it. Talk about a middle man.
I don't want to buy things for 'a good cause,' I want to be out in the world and cause good.
God, teach me a life of simplicity. Show me opportunities to truly make a difference.
May 3, 2012
oh how time flies
I can't believe it's been nearly 2 months since I have made an update. I'm seriously going to have to start doing better at this. Once I start, I really enjoy it. (mental note made)
Two months. I've turned 24. Had an amazing surprise b-day party. Experienced the first Gray family Easter. Wrapped up my third semester of graduate school. Moved into the next phase of life. Started to think about some long term goals. I graduate this time next year. I've been planning the youth trip to OK. Ready to see the things God is going to do while we are there. I preached last Sunday. Everyone keeps telling me that I've missed my calling, and I've been told that for years. I hope I'm making the right life choices. The next few weeks are going to be really busy, and honestly I'm ready for a few weeks of nothing. Can't wait to go and visit my grandmother this summer at the beach! Life is good. Stress is starting to decrease and I'm finding myself at a place of peace. Well, more often than usual.
I have noticed recently, however, that there are a lot of little things that get on my nerves. I've really been trying to work on it. Just to let things go. I think the more I pray for patience, the more God gives me opportunities to be patient. And let me tell you...It's been a struggle.
Last final tonight, and then strawberry picking tomorrow with Jazzie! Oh sweet summertime, welcome!
Two months. I've turned 24. Had an amazing surprise b-day party. Experienced the first Gray family Easter. Wrapped up my third semester of graduate school. Moved into the next phase of life. Started to think about some long term goals. I graduate this time next year. I've been planning the youth trip to OK. Ready to see the things God is going to do while we are there. I preached last Sunday. Everyone keeps telling me that I've missed my calling, and I've been told that for years. I hope I'm making the right life choices. The next few weeks are going to be really busy, and honestly I'm ready for a few weeks of nothing. Can't wait to go and visit my grandmother this summer at the beach! Life is good. Stress is starting to decrease and I'm finding myself at a place of peace. Well, more often than usual.
I have noticed recently, however, that there are a lot of little things that get on my nerves. I've really been trying to work on it. Just to let things go. I think the more I pray for patience, the more God gives me opportunities to be patient. And let me tell you...It's been a struggle.
Last final tonight, and then strawberry picking tomorrow with Jazzie! Oh sweet summertime, welcome!
Mar 7, 2012
Look Who Changed The World
I am in a group counseling class, and part of the class requirement is to participate in a process group. A few weeks ago I shared that I typically find myself in leadership positions. My life has always seemed to follow the same patterns. Maybe it is because I'm pretty blunt about most things. Maybe my need for organization drives me to manage situations. Maybe I'm just a control freak. I don't know. But this got me thinking....
If I am a natural leader, what kind of leader am I?
Recently I came across a list of the top 100 people who changed the world. A LOT of the people on the list, I don't have a clue who they are. (history has never really been my strong point) Here are a few of the names I recognized on that list: Jesus Christ, Martin Luther King Jr, Joan of Arc, Abraham Lincoln, Buddha, Martin Luther, Mother Teresa....and many many more. Through my processing I have learned the type of leader I want to be. I still have some work to do...
1. To communicate clearly, calmly, and effectively.
2. To commit to a sense of enthusiasm that is contagious
3. To value those I lead
4. To remain humble in even the most difficult situations. I will always have something to learn.
5. To not be afraid to get my hands dirty. The most effective leaders will lead by example. (note list above)
6. To commit to the success of everyone involved in any given task
7. To be willing to take risks
8. To be open minded, and able to admit when I'm wrong
9. To be reliable and consistent
10. To be patient. Everyone will not see things the way I do.
11. To be honest
12. To always keep perspective
Let's be honest, this list could go on and on and on. I'm sure I will continue to learn about leadership and about myself along the way. I just want to be the kind of person that people want to follow. I want people to look up to me because of my character and not my status.
If I am a natural leader, what kind of leader am I?
Recently I came across a list of the top 100 people who changed the world. A LOT of the people on the list, I don't have a clue who they are. (history has never really been my strong point) Here are a few of the names I recognized on that list: Jesus Christ, Martin Luther King Jr, Joan of Arc, Abraham Lincoln, Buddha, Martin Luther, Mother Teresa....and many many more. Through my processing I have learned the type of leader I want to be. I still have some work to do...
1. To communicate clearly, calmly, and effectively.
2. To commit to a sense of enthusiasm that is contagious
3. To value those I lead
4. To remain humble in even the most difficult situations. I will always have something to learn.
5. To not be afraid to get my hands dirty. The most effective leaders will lead by example. (note list above)
6. To commit to the success of everyone involved in any given task
7. To be willing to take risks
8. To be open minded, and able to admit when I'm wrong
9. To be reliable and consistent
10. To be patient. Everyone will not see things the way I do.
11. To be honest
12. To always keep perspective
Let's be honest, this list could go on and on and on. I'm sure I will continue to learn about leadership and about myself along the way. I just want to be the kind of person that people want to follow. I want people to look up to me because of my character and not my status.
Mar 6, 2012
The Flowers Are Starting to Bloom :)
Spring time amazes me. I wake up with the sun shining through my window and I am instantly in a good mood. It feels like the season of new life. Everything starts to bloom, the weather is nice, and the season of lent renews my spirit. For me, there is just something about spring time.
Back in October, God convicted me. I was well into my second semester of graduate school. I was working all the time. I feel like all the boyfriend and I ever did was go out to eat. (besides the bar scene, what do people my age do?) I started to feel so gross.
So, I joined the DeSoto Athletic Club (DAC). I had to meet with a personal trainer for an a general assessment. He showed me around the gym, talked about programs they run, and then finally I stepped onto every girls worse enemy....The Scale. I made it pretty clear that I was not interested in losing weight per say, but I was joining to take yoga classes. One of my best friends from college, Roxanne, introduced me to yoga during my undergrad. I fell in love. Afterwards I felt so relaxed and as if I could conquer the world. Though Yoga does not have a foundation in Christianity, its basis is Meditation. I have been teach my youth about spiritual disciplines on Wednesday nights, and the first one we talked about was Mediation. There is something about being still and centering your life around the creator that brings a person into deep relationship with him.
Well after the assessment, this trainer took me back into the office and in so many words told me that I needed to be doing a little more than yoga classes. They were just going to be a quick fix, but a healthy lifestyle would give me a better overall quality of life. I would like to say I wasn't offended, but that would be a lie. I left that day and over the course of the next few weeks, I got into a routine of my Yoga classes.
You know that busy time of the semester? Papers, finals, projects, group work.....it all seems to hit at once. I had become so stressed out, and it wasn't long before I realized how right that trainer was.(And as I think back now, I think God was using him to try to get through to me) Though Yoga is a good tool, it was a quick fix. After a class I would feel great, but I was not taking care of myself. I knew that God was speaking to me through out this time. I kept hearing him whisper. Your body is a temple. Live your life as an example. Take care of yourself. Self care is not selfish, you can not give what you do not have.
So by myself (and if you have ever gone to a gym that is an accomplishment in and of itself), I went to a Zumba class. And it changed my life. I am not sure if a lot of gyms are like this, but the DAC is pretty clicky. Everyone has friend there...except for me. No one is ever mean to me, but I do not have that support system there most people do. But I go anyways. It is my time. And God has used that time to teach me a number of things.
1. NEVER under estimate the things God will use to speak to you
2. Your body is a temple, and that means a lot more than dressing modestly.
3. When you allow yourself to become still before God, His voice becomes so much more clear.
3a. His voice moves you to action, period.
4. Often times business is used as an excuse to not take care of yourself (thanks, biggest loser: no excuses)
5. I have the most supportive boyfriend ever, and he has been a God sent. I have developed some amazing friendships in the past year or so, I'm eternally grateful.
It was not long after my Zumba experience; I joined Weight Watchers. Cardio classes and weight classes were beneficial, but with Weight Watchers I was able to start filling my body with nutrition. Throughout this experience, I have started to feel like a new person. God is using my journey to a healthy life as a tool to renew my spirit. I have started to bloom.
I had been thinking about this a lot lately. So, I wanted to share. As I have noticed the flowers start to bloom these past couple of weeks, it has given me a chance to really process this change of season in my own life. I am truly excited about the things God has in store.
Back in October, God convicted me. I was well into my second semester of graduate school. I was working all the time. I feel like all the boyfriend and I ever did was go out to eat. (besides the bar scene, what do people my age do?) I started to feel so gross.
So, I joined the DeSoto Athletic Club (DAC). I had to meet with a personal trainer for an a general assessment. He showed me around the gym, talked about programs they run, and then finally I stepped onto every girls worse enemy....The Scale. I made it pretty clear that I was not interested in losing weight per say, but I was joining to take yoga classes. One of my best friends from college, Roxanne, introduced me to yoga during my undergrad. I fell in love. Afterwards I felt so relaxed and as if I could conquer the world. Though Yoga does not have a foundation in Christianity, its basis is Meditation. I have been teach my youth about spiritual disciplines on Wednesday nights, and the first one we talked about was Mediation. There is something about being still and centering your life around the creator that brings a person into deep relationship with him.
Well after the assessment, this trainer took me back into the office and in so many words told me that I needed to be doing a little more than yoga classes. They were just going to be a quick fix, but a healthy lifestyle would give me a better overall quality of life. I would like to say I wasn't offended, but that would be a lie. I left that day and over the course of the next few weeks, I got into a routine of my Yoga classes.
You know that busy time of the semester? Papers, finals, projects, group work.....it all seems to hit at once. I had become so stressed out, and it wasn't long before I realized how right that trainer was.(And as I think back now, I think God was using him to try to get through to me) Though Yoga is a good tool, it was a quick fix. After a class I would feel great, but I was not taking care of myself. I knew that God was speaking to me through out this time. I kept hearing him whisper. Your body is a temple. Live your life as an example. Take care of yourself. Self care is not selfish, you can not give what you do not have.
So by myself (and if you have ever gone to a gym that is an accomplishment in and of itself), I went to a Zumba class. And it changed my life. I am not sure if a lot of gyms are like this, but the DAC is pretty clicky. Everyone has friend there...except for me. No one is ever mean to me, but I do not have that support system there most people do. But I go anyways. It is my time. And God has used that time to teach me a number of things.
1. NEVER under estimate the things God will use to speak to you
2. Your body is a temple, and that means a lot more than dressing modestly.
3. When you allow yourself to become still before God, His voice becomes so much more clear.
3a. His voice moves you to action, period.
5. I have the most supportive boyfriend ever, and he has been a God sent. I have developed some amazing friendships in the past year or so, I'm eternally grateful.
It was not long after my Zumba experience; I joined Weight Watchers. Cardio classes and weight classes were beneficial, but with Weight Watchers I was able to start filling my body with nutrition. Throughout this experience, I have started to feel like a new person. God is using my journey to a healthy life as a tool to renew my spirit. I have started to bloom.
I had been thinking about this a lot lately. So, I wanted to share. As I have noticed the flowers start to bloom these past couple of weeks, it has given me a chance to really process this change of season in my own life. I am truly excited about the things God has in store.
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