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Jan 29, 2012

what we say

It has been brought to my attention lately how much words really do hurt. And I know what you are thinking..."Oh no not again. I've heard this since grade school. Please don't go on a rant." But if you keep reading, you might be wrong. This is something so personal to so many people.

I've been learning in classes, that some theorist believe we are a product of our environment. Though I believe other factors play a part in who we become, our environment does impact us greatly.We can only become what we know, and for most people all they know is what they have been around. So maybe before you start to judge someone according to your standards, you should take a step back and look and why they may be different.

There is something beautiful about the differences in people. Think about that. I do not believe there are 'better' people, only different people. Maybe sometimes the roles people play in life do not get them what they want, but also maybe those people don't know how to change it either.

I feel like we all have that story. The story where someone said something negative about us and it stuck with us. Someone laughed at us, talked about us, made fun of us, picked on us....the list goes on. Things stick with us. But it is not only what we say that hurts people. It is what we do. I am the worse about my face giving away exactly what I am thinking, and I don't even have to say a word. A lot of times you can tell a friend is mad at you just because of how they are acting, and they don't even really have to say anything. We have to be so aware of ourselves, or we will hurt people without even realizing it. What we say is not simply words, but it is what we do.

Jan 18, 2012

This time of year always seems to take a toll on me. I don't know if it is the cold weather or the lack of sunshine, but I always seem to be a Debbie Downer. Or as my friend Jazzie would say a Negative Nancy. I think it is part of my genes or something. I can't help it.

There is just so much I'd like to change. I'm SO ready for the next thing. I'm already way over this whole school thing. And it stresses me out to think about our comprehensive exams and practicum and internship. I just feel like I have so much to do in a little amount of time. I'm ready for that little amount of time...which feels like years...to hurry along.

I want to move somewhere new with the love of my life. I want to start fresh with my own place and a new job in a new city/town to explore. I love that feeling of starting over. I like the struggle of meeting new people and finding a new church. I like that feeling of adventure.

I love my program, and my course of study. But the more I learn about counseling the less I want to do a sit down formal counseling job. I want to be out in the community advocating. I want to work with at risk teenagers and their families. I'm taking a group class this semester and I have a feeling I'm really going to like it. The group setting is what I love the most. That feeling of community and doing it together.

Okay, I'm done rambling and venting now.

God, help me to get excited about this life I'm living right now and not focus on the life I want in the future. Amen.

Jan 3, 2012

it's a new year

When I think about this past year, it absolutely amazes me. Sometimes things happen so fast, yet slow at the same time. The valleys always make the mountain top that much better. It is hard to think back and remember all the things that God brought me through in 2011. So much has happened. I found love. I found friendships. I've been blessed with an amazing job. My family and I are transitioning into a mature relationship. School is going by so quick, and I'm starting to see some of my calling. I'm realizing how deep my hunger is for adventure, and how extremely hard it is for me to settle down...anywhere.

This year my life song has had times of shouted heartbreak and times of rejoiced hallelujahs. Notes have turned into melodies and I'm starting to see life before me. God always seems to find the broken pieces and place them back together in some fashion or another. And it always seems to be better than I could have ever imagined.

Thank you God for a new year, but also thank you for this past year. I am truly grateful. Love.

Dec 22, 2011

Yes, I am Anti-Gun

When I tell people that I am against guns, they always look at me like I am crazy. Especially since I live in the South!  I have had conversations with people where they try to put me into a situation where "If I had a gun I would use it." Even then, I am against them. One, they give me the heebie geebies and I can't even really hold one without freaking out. Two, it is my personal choice.

I just thought I would take a little time to explain why. Well obviously guns kill people. (no people kill people) NO, people with guns kill people. Guns have made it so easy for violence. It revolutionized war, and that has caused solider after solider to come home with PTSD. I believe video games have played a big role in how people view guns. When high school students are sitting in their English class saying they will never use this information because when they graduate they are just going to go blow people up....we have a problem. When I was a kid, we played hide-n-go seek and tag. We would have rather been outside playing, running around than in the house any day. Now, elementary school and middle school aged kids are playing games that were designed for Mature adults. I have worked in a few day cares and simply to hear how these kids talk doesn't surprise me that we have had an increased number of school shootings and such. Though all of this fuels the fire for my stance, it is not the sole reason why I choose to stand against guns.

I am a Christian, and there is nothing more important to me than my faith. It is my goal to be as much like Christ as possible. If Jesus lived today, I do not believe he would own a gun. He is the prince of peace. He called us to love our enemies and turn the other cheek. In my heart of hearts I believe that if Jesus walked on the Earth today, he would not own a gun. Even in hostage circumstances or if someone was hurting my family, I can't see myself ever being able to shoot someone. I can not value one man's life over another. Jesus died for us all, and desires a relationship with each one of us.  He does not think I'm better than anyone else. I can't make a hierarchy of people classes in my head. Then my heart is not right, and I could be come arrogant. It is my desire to stay as humble as possible. I am not better than anyone else, and we all need grace. It makes me think of the movie, End of the Spear. There were missionaries who were trying to reach a remote tribe in South America. The tribe killed this boy's father, and when he grew up he went to try to reach this same tribe. Before the father left his son asked him, " If the Waodani (the name of the tribe) attack, will you defend yourself? Will you use your guns?" The father replied, "Son, we can't shoot the Waodani. They're not ready for heaven... we are." I know I would die before I could kill anyone else. I simply don't have it in me. I am against guns because I truly believe that Jesus would be against guns. 

Dec 11, 2011

The Holiday Season

Okay, so this holiday season I have made a commitment to myself to be grateful for all that I have been blessed with. God has been changing my heart here lately. I'm realizing how often I tend to put myself first. And I do mean often....

When it rains, it pours.

I want so badly for life to be fair. I want justice to come here on earth. I don't want people to suffer. These past few weeks so much has happened in the lives of people around me. Car wrecks, emergency room visits, surgeries....and the list goes on.

There is a couple at my church that has really been on my heart lately. The McCord family are some of the sweetest people you will ever meet. Dan, the husband, has battled cancer...beat it, and is now in ICU for double ammonia. Gloria, the wife, has done everything she can to be there for him and still keep their household going. Jesse, the daughter, is in middle school and has the sweetest heart of anyone I know. Though this family has been through so much, they have praised God through it all. They still desire to be active members of our church. Their faith amazes me, and I am challenged.

God, help me to not only be grateful, but to act on that gratefulness. Help me to grow in faith. I want to praise you in the good and bad times. Thank you for teaching me in all circumstances. Amen

Nov 27, 2011

My Calling

So I've recently realized why I've decided to go into rehabilitation counseling, and Thanksgiving dinner sparked this thought....

I don't know how your family is, but it seems to me that just about every family has that person who is condescending. There is nothing you could do that would ever add up to be good enough. What they do will always be better than what you could do. I have a cousin who is like this. God love her, and I honestly don't know if she realizes she is like this. For as long as I can remember she has looked down her nose on my sister and I. This thanksgiving she asked me, "So what are you doing now?" And not in that curious I haven't talked to you in forever way. I told her I was getting my Masters in Rehabilitation Counseling, and that I found it rewarding. "Rewarding?" she said. "Yes, rewarding, I get to help people," I replied. She didn't know I heard her, but under her breath she said, "Yeah, but most people don't want the help." I was shocked, but I knew she was referring to addiction. Every time I tell some that I'm going into rehabilitation counseling they always connect it with drug addiction or alcoholism.

First of all, you obviously don't have a clue what my field is like. Let me explain:

When an OIF veteran comes home, and he slips through the local Memphis VA assessments because they are overwhelmed with the over 200,000 veterans they serve in three states (over 53 counties), and is unable to find a job because of one, our economy and two, he/she is suffering from PTSD. I am the person who will who works for the state vocational rehab program and helps that person not only find counseling, but talks to them about their goals and helps them take the steps needed in furthering their education and/or finding employment.

When a young adult starts to show early signs of schizophrenia, has an episode, and ends up hospitalized. I am the person who helps him/her understand their illness and realize that it is not the end of their life. I am the one that the family comes to for support and understanding. I am the one who sets up a treatment plan, and a relapse prevention plan. I teach that patient how important medication is and help them ease their way back into society.

When there is a group of people with a disability who are fighting for equality, I am the person who fights with them. Equality meaning all they want is a ramp into a building or a differing kind of door knob. They want to be able to work. They want access to the same things we have access too. It is not about government money or getting on disability or taking advantage of tax dollars. They simply want to be seen as a person first. I am the person who helps fight that stigma, and acts as a support system.

Though many of the people in my field will work in alcohol and drug treatment facilities, that is not all rehabilitation counseling is about.  I suggest before you make judgments, you do your research.

I don't think it is any secret that I am a Christian, and my faith is extremely important to me. I recently learned in class that rehabilitation counseling is about meeting the client where they are in life and where they are in recovery. It is about making people feel supported and loved. Why am I drawn to this field? Because that is exactly what Jesus did. Jesus did not sit in his high rise office asking people, "how does that make you feel?" Jesus got his hands dirty. It is not a glamorous job. I will be everything from a counselor to a cab driver for my clients, but if that is what it takes I don't care. Jesus didn't care. I believe that Jesus' calling is simple. "Follow Me" But heck, it is not easy. I was called to be a rehabilitation counselor, it gives me an opportunity to get my hands dirty on a daily basis. And yes, I said opportunity. There is no dollar amount that could ever take the place of a changed life.

Nov 26, 2011

Thank You

Though Thanksgiving has now come and gone; I still find myself in the spirit of thankfulness. I have been blessed with so much here lately. It seems like right when I start to doubt that God knows what he is doing...he gives me a little glimpse of his plan. He reminds me that he is in control, and I am truly where I need to be right now. I have found new friendships that mean more to me than they could ever realize. I have been blessed with the perfect place to live. I have an amazing job, where I get to hang out with an amazing group of kids. And last but not least, I have found a man who would go to the moon and back for me. I'm not sure anyone has ever loved me as much as he does. Though at times I feel so alone, I have to remind myself of all I have. I can't expect for things to be perfect all the time. God has bless me. So, I think that during this season of thankfulness I will try to remind myself that I have the things I have because God gave them to me. For that, I want to say Thank You.